This is really not the best time in my life to start a blog. All my musings are likely to be morose, so I've not wanted to add to my first half arsed attempt.

*sighs*

Have had so many changes to adjust to over the last 6 months. I'm being stretched in so many ways. One of the biggest changes has been that we took our children out of school, and I've been homeschooling them, or, more accurately, letting them unschool. There were so many frustrations that we've had regarding what we feel is a controlling and out-dated education system, and it's been fantastic to give our children the freedom to pursue the interests relevant to the lives they wish to live. One of the thoughts of unschooling is that for every year of school attended, a child will need about a month to wind down and find their natural groove. So if those estimates are right, all my kids should be more or less right as rain now, but I have a long way to go...

I joke, but it really is easier sometimes to stay a product of the system: let someone in authority make the decisions, it used to be a matter of obeying teachers, conforming to the rest of your classmates, submitting to the inevitable comparisons. It certainly prepares us well for a submissive, trouble free life, makes us good obedient employees and ensures we defer the responsibility of righting any wrongs in the world to a "higher authority" whether the government, church ministers or an office superior. In attempting to raise children who are intelligent, respectful and capable of taking responsibility for their own lives, it raises one obvious question: how am I doing on the "personal responsibility" meter?

Being totally honest - sometimes being a grownup is scary! I'm starting up my own business at the moment, a new experience for me, and there are times when I wish someone who has a clue would come and take over - jump the trickier hurdles for me!

So that's on my mind - that in allowing my kids to unschool and learn naturally, I need to allow myself the same kindness. In many unconscious ways I'm still a "product of the system" and want someone to tell me what to do (even sometimes just so that I have something to rebel against). So that's my assignment for the year - to truly lose the fear of living my own life, fully , wonderfully and authentically.

Hang on, that wasn't particularly morose.... sorry if that's a disappointment..